It's that time again. Updates! I'm hopped up on the 'roids so my creative juices are flowing and my sleep at night is evading me. That's OK since I have the luxury of mornings in bed.
Today was a treatment day. I had another dose of what is lovingly named "The Red Devil" by my favorite nurse. Even if that was a bar drink, I don't think I would order something with such a foreboding title. Now if we were talking song titles, that'd be a different story. Currently I'm just waiting for my body to start the process on the downward spiral again. It was a hell, the devil's domain, last week and I really don't want and I can't let that happen again. I have things to do and people to see. Positive thinking commence.
On other fronts, I took advantage of the downfall last week by cuddling in with my Kindle. One of my best friends recommended The Hunger Games series. I devoured it. (pun intended) As the name insinuates, there is a role of food in the book. I have a strange relationship with food right now. A deep love/hate runs between me and edibles. I took to the books despite the symbolic foods. I finished the series in a week. Forewarning it's a young adult series; think Twighlight without the putrid Bella or mythical creatures. I miss reading books and discussing the deeper meanings of everything or hearing other people's favorite parts. Usually you'll notice new angles and hear of interesting interpretations. My friends and I discuss book groups but last time I was one of the few to actually read the book (Three Cups of Tea - still very bitter of the author's audacity to lie). So if any one has a book they want to meet over coffee about I'd love to.
"Be not afraid of going slowly. Be afraid of standing still."
Japanese Proverb
A tale of my fight and conquer over cancer. It's no fairy tale; it's a warrior tale.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Send Me the Moon
(Sara Bareilles lyric - go listen, it's lovely.)
I have been a hermit the past three days. Hermits must be the loneliest creatures on the planet. No wonder they don't run off when people are willing to pay attention to them and paint their shells. If it means attention then so be it. I babble. What I mean to say is that locking myself in to stay away from germs takes its toll.
Friday was easy to play Rapunzel because I was beat from a round of sleep-inducing pre-chemo drugs and the poison itself.
Saturday was a bit tougher because I had the choice of going out. I wanted to but bit my lip and did what's right. Stayed in. A few of the older nurses clucked at me a few times with lines of "those young patients always run into the same issues... not minding the guidelines..." Nags. haha I hate that I listen, but they have seen it all.
Today I am going stir crazy. It's one of my sullen days. It's beautiful outside. I know it, I can see it and feel it. But I just don't care. I just feel fuzzy and dull.
Tomorrow I am breaking the rules and going downtown! The plans are my silver lining to this weekend. One of my best friend's in town and there is nothing that will stop me. We're doing lunch and the art institute. I am more excited that a 5-year old going to Disney.
Treatment again Tuesday... I am going to throw a party the day the "main" stuff is over. You are all invited. I think a pinata would be appropriate. I get first swing.
I have been a hermit the past three days. Hermits must be the loneliest creatures on the planet. No wonder they don't run off when people are willing to pay attention to them and paint their shells. If it means attention then so be it. I babble. What I mean to say is that locking myself in to stay away from germs takes its toll.
Friday was easy to play Rapunzel because I was beat from a round of sleep-inducing pre-chemo drugs and the poison itself.
Saturday was a bit tougher because I had the choice of going out. I wanted to but bit my lip and did what's right. Stayed in. A few of the older nurses clucked at me a few times with lines of "those young patients always run into the same issues... not minding the guidelines..." Nags. haha I hate that I listen, but they have seen it all.
Today I am going stir crazy. It's one of my sullen days. It's beautiful outside. I know it, I can see it and feel it. But I just don't care. I just feel fuzzy and dull.
Tomorrow I am breaking the rules and going downtown! The plans are my silver lining to this weekend. One of my best friend's in town and there is nothing that will stop me. We're doing lunch and the art institute. I am more excited that a 5-year old going to Disney.
Treatment again Tuesday... I am going to throw a party the day the "main" stuff is over. You are all invited. I think a pinata would be appropriate. I get first swing.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Cloud 9 and 3/4
'allo everyone,
I have begun the 2nd to last leg of my treatments! Holla! It's very exciting! My nurse and I became "woo girls" (How I Met Your Mother reference) and I fulfilled my sorority alum status in squeaks and other high pitch noises. It's too early for a countdown but I excitedly anticipate the day I can post it.
My biopsy results were optimistic. They haven't all come back, but the known results caused even the Doc to be chipper.
Things have been wonderful lately. I have kept busy, felt healthy, and stayed calm. My counts are dropping (bummer) so I am borderline neutropenic. Reminder: neutropenia is the state where I become fragile as a porcelain doll so playtime becomes limited. I need to be better about respecting the rules because I do not want any set backs for my future plans.
Ta ta!
New theme song thanks to Destiny Child (how embarrassing):
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
I have begun the 2nd to last leg of my treatments! Holla! It's very exciting! My nurse and I became "woo girls" (How I Met Your Mother reference) and I fulfilled my sorority alum status in squeaks and other high pitch noises. It's too early for a countdown but I excitedly anticipate the day I can post it.
My biopsy results were optimistic. They haven't all come back, but the known results caused even the Doc to be chipper.
Things have been wonderful lately. I have kept busy, felt healthy, and stayed calm. My counts are dropping (bummer) so I am borderline neutropenic. Reminder: neutropenia is the state where I become fragile as a porcelain doll so playtime becomes limited. I need to be better about respecting the rules because I do not want any set backs for my future plans.
Ta ta!
New theme song thanks to Destiny Child (how embarrassing):
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm not gonna give up (what),
I'm not gon' stop (what),
I'm gonna work harder (what),
I'm a survivor (what),
I'm gonna make it (what),
I will survive (what),
Keep on survivin' (what).
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Early Bird Special
I recently had an epiphany. I should be given the honorary old lady name of Rose (or how about Edith?).
Reason 1: I watch my stories daily. Sure, it's done in a high-tech way on Wii Netflix (which is a lifesaver btw) but it's how I get my jollies (reason number 2, I just said 'jollies')
Reason 3: I have an array of Rx bottles and pill boxes that I tote around with me since I am now a regular at the pharmacy counter.
Reason 4: A majority of my anecdotes include my nurses, not my friends and a completely different type of shot.
Reason 5: Rufus and Marley, need I say more?
Reason 6: I have been known to say the phrase "Oh my aching back" due to over sitting and laying in "slug" position watching said stories.
Reason 7: I have been known to have my hand on my chest as if saying the pledge of allegiance due to acid reflux. Simply, I have acid reflux. I thought I'd get that at the same time I buy a cherry red Mazda Miata during my planned midlife crisis.
Reason 8: There is a stock of Ensure in my house.
Reason 9: I am a crossword queen. I complete the Red Eye crossword, and I have a book of them which I tote around as well.
Reason 10: I grumble under my breath and grimace like a crotchety old man about the yippety little dog next door. (It truly needs to be snuffed.)
Reason 11: Walking is my exercise. I don my Sketchers Shape Ups (I'll take all the help I can get when it comes to getting my booty back in shape) and stroll the country club. The other walkers I see are either the local new mommies or the 65 and better crowd.
Reason 12: I drank prune juice. It was only once but I think it makes me eligible for an AARP card. That stuff is gross enough that anyone drinking it deserves a discount.
... if I name anymore similarities I may start to develop worry lines. Let's stop here so that it's still smile lines.
Rock(er) on!
Reason 1: I watch my stories daily. Sure, it's done in a high-tech way on Wii Netflix (which is a lifesaver btw) but it's how I get my jollies (reason number 2, I just said 'jollies')
Reason 3: I have an array of Rx bottles and pill boxes that I tote around with me since I am now a regular at the pharmacy counter.
Reason 4: A majority of my anecdotes include my nurses, not my friends and a completely different type of shot.
Reason 5: Rufus and Marley, need I say more?
Reason 6: I have been known to say the phrase "Oh my aching back" due to over sitting and laying in "slug" position watching said stories.
Reason 7: I have been known to have my hand on my chest as if saying the pledge of allegiance due to acid reflux. Simply, I have acid reflux. I thought I'd get that at the same time I buy a cherry red Mazda Miata during my planned midlife crisis.
Reason 8: There is a stock of Ensure in my house.
Reason 9: I am a crossword queen. I complete the Red Eye crossword, and I have a book of them which I tote around as well.
Reason 10: I grumble under my breath and grimace like a crotchety old man about the yippety little dog next door. (It truly needs to be snuffed.)
Reason 11: Walking is my exercise. I don my Sketchers Shape Ups (I'll take all the help I can get when it comes to getting my booty back in shape) and stroll the country club. The other walkers I see are either the local new mommies or the 65 and better crowd.
Reason 12: I drank prune juice. It was only once but I think it makes me eligible for an AARP card. That stuff is gross enough that anyone drinking it deserves a discount.
... if I name anymore similarities I may start to develop worry lines. Let's stop here so that it's still smile lines.
Rock(er) on!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Unexpected Therapy
I bought Dr. Mario for Wii yesterday. I l-o-v-e-d that game on Nintendo - the old school console where you blew into the games in attempt to get them to work. It will be fun to explain that one to my (hypothetical) children.
I was kicking ass and taking viruses' names when I realized I was completely engaged in the game. When I eventually lost a game, which took a while since I'm awesome at it, I noticed I was truly bummed. I also found that I was taunting cartoon characters... needless to say I had a blast.
Then it dawned on me - I wasn't killing silly red, blue, yellow viruses in my head - I was killing cancer!
I was kicking ass and taking viruses' names when I realized I was completely engaged in the game. When I eventually lost a game, which took a while since I'm awesome at it, I noticed I was truly bummed. I also found that I was taunting cartoon characters... needless to say I had a blast.
Then it dawned on me - I wasn't killing silly red, blue, yellow viruses in my head - I was killing cancer!
Monday, August 1, 2011
hakuna matata, poppycock.
Hello peeps,
It's August. Jeepers! Soon I'll be wearing two scarves (one on my head, the other around my neck) since fall will be here before we know it. I need a symbol for the drumroll of bum bum ching for my cheesy jokes on this blog. I worry some of my sarcasm might be lost to the text.
On my calendar we are on day 38 of course 3. Thus, b!tch juice will be pumped into me Thursday. On a positive note, Thursday marks the end of this session! I will do a happy dance afterwards; count that as a warning Dad. Three fourths done with chemotherapy!!!! However, I will have a bone marrow biopsy done next week. It is anticipated to be clean according to Doc. Down the line (AKA months/years from now) the marrow tests are going to be where anxiety will skyrocket. It will be that waiting game I talk so much about. The game of "did it work?" I should wear a button while waiting the results that says "Tread lightly: volatile, likely to explode" maybe with the hazardous material logo on it.
This weekend was a good one. Ross was in town; need I say more? We had a good time chilling by the bonfire, just hanging out as if time stopped and we weren't stuck in this dismal scenario. He's my counterpart, you know? I say something quirky and he is right there with me, laughing when anyone else would just raise an eyebrow.
Along the same lines, this week is full of friends. I have a little something planned with friends every day this week! Dinners, movie dates, yoga... then it's time to get ready for my parents' shindig Saturday. They are hosting a par-tay to celebrate paying off their mortgage. I will cheers to the roof over my head any day.
Until next time, love & peace.
It's August. Jeepers! Soon I'll be wearing two scarves (one on my head, the other around my neck) since fall will be here before we know it. I need a symbol for the drumroll of bum bum ching for my cheesy jokes on this blog. I worry some of my sarcasm might be lost to the text.
On my calendar we are on day 38 of course 3. Thus, b!tch juice will be pumped into me Thursday. On a positive note, Thursday marks the end of this session! I will do a happy dance afterwards; count that as a warning Dad. Three fourths done with chemotherapy!!!! However, I will have a bone marrow biopsy done next week. It is anticipated to be clean according to Doc. Down the line (AKA months/years from now) the marrow tests are going to be where anxiety will skyrocket. It will be that waiting game I talk so much about. The game of "did it work?" I should wear a button while waiting the results that says "Tread lightly: volatile, likely to explode" maybe with the hazardous material logo on it.
This weekend was a good one. Ross was in town; need I say more? We had a good time chilling by the bonfire, just hanging out as if time stopped and we weren't stuck in this dismal scenario. He's my counterpart, you know? I say something quirky and he is right there with me, laughing when anyone else would just raise an eyebrow.
Along the same lines, this week is full of friends. I have a little something planned with friends every day this week! Dinners, movie dates, yoga... then it's time to get ready for my parents' shindig Saturday. They are hosting a par-tay to celebrate paying off their mortgage. I will cheers to the roof over my head any day.
Until next time, love & peace.
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