One year ago today...

was the diagnosis day.   I'm not sure how I am supposed to act today.  I feel as though I'm supposed to do something special, but I kind of feel numb.  Last year news came that threw my world into a whirlwind.  Thanks for a year of love, prayers and good thoughts.  I felt them all.

If you see me, just smile.  That's all I want.  


With love,
K

Among the Wildflowers

G'day

I report to you from the melting city of Madison.  The bit of snow is melting vigorously.  I am a big fan of this winter.  We had the best of both worlds - pretty snow and warm days.

I started physical therapy (PT) this morning.  I am very excited to continue the exercises and stretches that my physical therapist assigned to me.  I have a drive within to progress the mending quicker than expected.  My physical therapist was great and he has my optimism soaring.  I can't ask for anything more on those fronts.

I had another dose of the magic juice last Thursday.  I was very nervous for my spinal chemo since the last couple were a bit of a struggle due to scar tissue forming.  Too many pokes of the needle.  All the worry was a waste - things went smoothly.  All of the discussions with my Northwester posse were happy reports and so the smiling carries on.

Unless if you live under a rock, you know that yesterday was Valentine's day.  I have a beautiful bouquet of lilies as a souvenir.  Ross pulled out all of the tricks.  He cooked dinner with Michael Buble crooning in the background that was lit with candles.  What a guy.

Last year we skimmed over Valentine's day because I was with Erin rocking out to Ozzy and Slash.  Great times spent with my sister.  She'll be visiting Madison this spring :)

Things have perked up a lot since the beginning of the year.  I'm going to roll with it.  Smile!

Today's theme:  Tom Petty - Wildflowers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G-42RYWRvE

A simple round of conversation

Yesterday marked a momentous occasion - my wig is officially retired.  I went into the office without my wig and received many compliments on my "hair cut."  I've told a few people this next bit already but it's worth a repeat.  With this hair do, I need to buy some owl stuff and a few over-sized flannels.  It is so hipster.   I will have to wear it with irony.

Random thought - do you think the first "r" in February feels under-utilized?  I imagine it's the skinny, kid saying "What about me?" in gym class.  Or am I the only one that completely skips over it when saying February? 

Another random thought - when I was researching how to raise Emma a lot of sites warned that puppies will sometimes have issues about separation anxiety.  They did not warn about MY separation anxiety.  Maybe she can hide under my desk when I come to the office.  She would totally fit under my desk.  I hope she misses me this much too... I hope she's blogging about my absence.

A final random thought - a compilation of songs serve as a guidebook to life.  I popped in some of my high school cd mixes and happily sang and drove from Milwaukee.  There are times when a certain song comes on and it seems like it was written for you.    Do you find that too?

la-la-la-love,
Katrina

Hullabaloo

It's me, your one and only emcee 


I have returned from my six day staycation as pale as when I left.  Mother dearest drove to Madison to accompany me to the bone specialist appointment.  Simply, I was scared to go alone.  Since she was driving back to Midlothian, Emma and I hopped a ride to the sandless, sunless, palm treeless land for a mini-vacay.  I needed a rejuvenation and Emma needed to meet Dad and the OFHS crew.  She was well behaved and made me proud.  


The week was a nice breath of fresh air.  I was also pumped up with new blood on Tuesday so that may be a factor in the pep in my step.  Vampires tend to perk up with new blood.  The weekend was full of laughs since that's always how it goes with my girls.  I also got to spend time with Mom and Dad, which after living home for so the stint, was very welcome.  


So the skinny on what's going on: to sum it up my right shoulder and left hip are not fairing well due to the treatments that have been beating me up.  I was doing well in the boxing ring but it seems that the chemo took round 3 with a K.O.   

I am going to give physical therapy a go and see how the joints feel.  The only option other than grinning through the pain is a replacement hip and/or shoulder.  I am not ready to be Bionic Katrina quite yet; I was thinking maybe 50 years down the road...  then I can make jokes about my artificial sweetener but not quite yet.    


One day this too will just be a faint memory that I can shake my head at with a smirk of mirth fueled by the triumph.  

babble, babble, babble

My Bane, Treatment

Last week, I made my monthly pilgrimage to Chicago.  It fell at a time when my usual buddies were busy so I went solo.  I was weary about going by myself, but it turned out to be a good experience.  One on one time with my doctor and nurses proved to be very informational.   A few tough items have come up, which I will divulge unto cyberspace at a later date.  I haven't dealt with them mentally/physically yet so they're not ready for the world to digest either.  The strength will come, just not yet.

On the happy side!  I have a new date that I will countdown to with joy... 

JUNE 24, 2013!!!

It's my end date.  

I am so pumped.  It's next year!!!!!!  

My Buddy, Emma

The little dear happily napped with me throughout this week.  I spent a majority of my week creating Zs since I caught a cold and my counts plummeted.   Her husky side is poofing through with the fall of snow.  She loves the stuff.  She comes inside looking like Chappelle with white powder all over her snout all jazzed up and rearing to go.   At times I want to squeeze her to pieces because she is so freaking adorable and at other times I want to shake her.  But that's puppies.

My Happenings...

They have been limited because I limp due to fractures in my hip (call me Edith, not kidding) and low energy.  However, I was able to make it to an annual get together in Milwaukee with my girlfriends.  MU pride!  I had fun, and I did my best to keep up with the celebration.  However, I know my medical entourage would want to shake me if they knew what I was up to.  But that's twenties.

Madison has begun to get mundane.  I haven't been able to start any of my plans - yoga, classes, etc. which I was really looking forward to.  I also had to skip out on plans due to the disappointing counts, which is nothing new but it still tough.  

Is it just me or are there violins wailing in the background? 

If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten

(Post namesake is from Spamalot - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWGjnIhUyew)


I have come to find that I am one fast one-handed typist.   I was in piano classes for a bit and I was told that I have great span.  I am very thankful for it because I can shift+any key on the board with one hand!  Go me!


Why is this pertinent?  Why because I fractured my elbow!  Let me just say that my mood was a sh!tstorm hurricane this week worthy of NOLA.  I gimp around and can't reach top shelves because I also bruised my shoulder and hip.  ::Sarcasm alert::  Awesome.  


How did this tragedy come about?  Well, I was trying to clean up some of Emma's backyard bombs.  Our yard resembled an ice rink at the time.  Emma was burning energy playing with her frisbee and doing laps... one of which was behind me.  Her tie-out caught my legs and I was sacked.  It was cartoon worthy.  I flew into the air!  With a thunk (and apparently a snap) I feel on the ice.  Emma licked my face as I tried to stand; I still love the little honey bun.


Where is my hopeful 2012?  The year is going to improve from here.  I keep finding myself saying that.  I am not a very religious person.  I am jealous of those who are.  But I found sayings along the following uplifting...  
  

I will pass His test... but geez Lois, this is worse than stats class.  So I have moaned enough, hopefully my next post will not be dripping with such misplaced anger. 

Little Victories

Good morning boys & girls,


I haven't posted thanks to my lessened amount of visits.  I have more small appointments for lab check ups and such but nothing compared to the clinic trips to NW.   I had a NW appointment this past Thursday for some b!tch juice.  It was not the smoothest of appointments in our history.  They all can't go as easily as I was lucky enough to have in the past, but oi vey this one was a doozy.  Let's just say lots of waiting and needle pokes.  But it's done and over with.  Next one will be smoother.  My dad brightened my mom and I's day with having dinner ready for us when we got home.  This is not a common Lord household (sorry Daddy-o for ratting you out).  


I've had a lot of great times since my last post.  I went to my first concert after diagnosis.  I had missed a few concerts that were planned and fell during this sh!tshow.  It was tough to miss and to not plan for new ones, but I couldn't skip Avenged Sevenfold!  It turns out that the band supports this Web site:  http://www.fuckcancerfoundation.org/  A bit more brash that my style, but you can't deny the message.  We learned this from another concert goer that was sporting one of the shirts.  The weekend as a whole was great.  That same weekend, Ross had a work party and it was a lot of fun.  Plus we went to our favorite diner - Denny's (not the chain but the place that defines the overblown style of the Dells).  


Another weekend was a wonderful girls weekend getaway with a group of my childhood friends.  We all had a great time.  It was five of us in Galena.  Lots and lots of laughs, chatting, relaxing and as one of us said "rekindling old friendship flames."  


Otherwise I've just been doing my part time work, my daily goals around the house and cuddling my pupper.  I like to not have anything to note on this blog ;0)


The below pictures are of me and Dana, my mom's hair stylist and mine too during high school.  The salon she works at had a Cut-a-thon for the American Cancer Society so I stopped in to say thank you.  She has done numerous (any is too many) buzz cuts for women with treatments that cause the hair to jump ship.  As you will see, she went the full nine yards and raised extra money by promising to buzz her hair if she reached a certain level of donations.  She kicked some @ss (a lot of swearing in this post, odd) and raised almost double her goal.  People are amazing.  

 I don't anticipate any posts prior to Christmas.   So...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!

You Knock Me Down with a Smile

Here's Em and her favorite chew toy - rawhide bones!  She's a beast with these.  They last about a night.  Better that than my shoe.


Over Thanksgiving Emma met Apollo, Sarah & Joey's dog, and she had a great time playing with him.  She has a new best friend.  Freakin' adorable. 

As promised, here's a little preview of our little nest:

 The bottles are a line of Ross's home brews... the kegerators are downstairs with our bar & pool table.  It's a fun house!

 Aren't we adorable?


Things are flowing along smoothly... I began work finally.  I am acquiring a normal status.  I get to see the great AH folks and my Milwaukee friends once a week which makes the drive worth it. 
I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with Ross's family.  Good food and good company.
This past weekend, Lizzie and Tyler (Ross's little sister and her boyfriend) took Ross and I out to dinner to celebrate my clean results.   It's a funny thing to cheers to, but a wonderful thing to cheers.  We had a great night playing cards and just having a laugh.  Our cheeks were hurting by the end of the night.


The holiday season is upon us so it's busy busy busy from here on out.  Busy is exactly how I like it.


Ta ta for now!

Serenity

Hallelujah!  Hip hip hooray!  Holla!   Huzzah!  

Yesterday's long itinerary at the clinic was more than worth it.  I heard that my marrow is beautiful.  I started the steps for maintenance so we have hit the detour route.  We are closer and closer to leaving the roadblock far behind.


After the labs, chemo and doctor meetings Ross and I went to Goose Island for dinner.  Luckily enough a few of my girlfriends were able to meet up.  I am so lucky to have all of this love.   


It was such a roller coaster of a day.  

(cont.)
Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships at the pathway to peace;
Taking as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right 
if I surrender to His will;
That I may be reasonably happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.


and breathe.  It's so fitting.  I love this prayer.

bibbidi bobbidi boo

Hello, hello!!  I didn't forget about my blog updates.  Here's the skinny on my life:


Roadblock Update
I was poked and prodded today for my bone marrow biopsy.  I anxiously await the results on Thursday.  Ross will be coming with me to the clinic for the results and beginning of maintenance.  I get to show him off to my entourage.  They are excited to meet him.  The team will be shocked to see me without my parents, who are frowning at the fact that they are missing the appointment.  I can't let them get a perfect record for attendance, now can I?  


I have a toddler's hairdo right now.  My eyebrows and lashes are back too!  It's suh-weet!  Unfortunately there's more proof that God's a man because my leg hair has returned as well.  I was hoping he'd say to himself, "Katrina's been through a lot.  Let's toss her a consolation prize of no more shaving!"  Alas, He didn't.  


Puppy Love
Ross and I are happy to announce that we are proud owners of an 8 month old pupper - Emma!  She's already stolen both of our hearts.  She is adorable, with or without bias.  Emma is 50 pounds of husky and golden retriever.  She happily obliges to stroll with us and accompany us at the dog park.  It's fun to learn her quirks and favorites.  For example, she likes to hop (freakin' adorable) and chase squirrels (not quite as adorable for my shoulder).  All in all, we are a happy little family.   


Don't worry bragging pictures to come...


Madison, my new home sweet home
I'm all settled in.  My goal is to finalize the organization of my closet and desk items.  We have the walls covered with our art which I consider the icing on the cake.  It's ready to serve.  We have a happy little family in a happy little home :)  The American Dream is coming true.


And a fun little note from Shel:

"Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles, the won'ts. Listen to the never haves, then listen close to me... Anything can happen, child. Anything can be." Shel Silverstein