Leukemia Research Foundation: Survivor Spotlight

Hello!  It's me again! I was asked to write up amy survivor story for the Leukemia Research Foundation.  I figure this dormant blog might still be making it's rounds & my anonymous readers may be thinking "what's this chick up to these days?"  Well here's a piece of my story... as seen on this Web site.  I didn't have an agenda when I went to write it, but it turns out I wrote a letter to past myself saying "You'll be OK.  You are OK." Survivor Spotlight Saturday: Katrina Lord

Me (Katrina) during my first weeks of treatment (Feb. 2011) Let me introduce myself. I'm a twenty-nine year old business analyst in information technology and I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. My passions in life are traveling, my husky/lab mutt Emma, reading, and spending time with friends and family. Oh and one other thing, I'm a five year and five month cancer survivor which is why you are reading this. Let’s rewind to February 2011 when I was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL); I was 23 years old. My diagnosis hit right when I was dipping my toe into independence. Upon diagnosis, my independence and life as I knew it was metaphorically packed away into boxes and I moved back in with my parents. ALL for a female means two and a half years of chemotherapy. I also had a bonus package of three surgeries which extended my stay in my childhood home. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are my favorite humans in all the land and sea, but they’re not who I want as roommates. Cancer diagnosis for anyone means that the world is going to be flipped upside down for a while. My treatment course and monitoring after was mostly taken care of by the staff at Northwestern Memorial Hospital in Chicago. There was never a moment of doubt that they had my best interest at heart. Dr. Frankfurt and her team went to battle with me and thanks to them and research, I can tell this story. During a therapy session (which I highly recommend for anyone) we discussed the concept of growth from the struggle. Heidi, my fantastic psychologist, had a fancy phrase for it that I can’t recall. But I do remember smirking the first session she brought it up. Ha! Growth from this sh!t … grumble, grumble. At this time the only growth I was focused on was my hair. I claimed that a side effect of chemo was snark (we dubbed the potions “b!tch” juice for a reason). My hair did grow and so did I. I even ended up choosing (keyword) to keep a pixie cut for quite a while. If it weren't for cancer I would never have known that I have "the bone structure" for the style or that a lot of people are facial bone structure experts. It was the only bone compliment I'd receive, not just because it's an odd compliment, but because my bones would turn out to suck due to treatment regimens. As an outcome of cancer, I have titanium hips, an arm that is in a forever angle, and a collapsed shoulder. I still do yoga and take boxing classes because I have learned to channel anger thanks to survivorship and own who I am, a bubbly warrior with some goofy looking warrior poses and no kicking abilities. If I were to say I'm over cancer like a bad habit, it'd be a lie. A lie that I’d love to tell, but it's important for us warriors to tell each other (and our warrior entourages) the truth. It's ok to wrestle with your cancerous present and past. I will forever be learning from the struggle because the diagnosis has a way of appearing in nooks and crannies of my life. My survivorship means that I make an effort to appreciate the lessons and to find the silver lining of the cloud. Or to learn to love the cloud itself, even if it is a thundercloud. What are these lessons? Being a warrior of cancer means that you have been granted into a club that you never wanted to join. But hey – we’re a great community of survivors. We get it. One of my dearest and bestest friends was introduced to me because of cancer. He’s a platinum lining. Cancer warriors, look around you – nurses, doctors, friends, family, and strangers are cheering you on and they will keep on doing that long after you finish the last dose. The love can be overwhelming. Drown in it. They’ll save you. And then one day, you can return the favor by being a cancer buddy to someone else. I signed up as a mentor through Imerman’s Angels (a wonderful organization that matches up cancer patients and caretakers with people that have been there too) and met a wonderful young lady who taught me to see different silver linings. I also can now see the selfless love that was always there. Words cannot describe what my parents’ sacrifices mean to me. I appreciate my parents more because of the bumpy road we navigated together. And now I aspire to spread the selfless love. I also appreciate the things I used to take for granted. Every morning and evening I take my dog for a walk. Some days, I am grateful simply to walk. When things get taken away, you really like them more when you get them back. It’s a terrible truth, but it’s how it works. I learned that I inspired my community because I worked hard at getting back my independence. I was able to inspire them to appreciate their own health. Every day I soak in the wonder that is life. Beauty is everywhere when you look for it. It’s completely a cheesy paragraph, but cheese is good. Remember, I live in Wisconsin. Sometimes it’s tougher to see the little things to appreciate. Sometimes you have to take the sucky things and make them good. Jokes are an amazing defense. I learned how to laugh at myself and at the situation that was forced upon me. It wasn’t always pretty, and it took a while to learn. But now I have an arsenal of jokes that make me and anyone else more comfortable with the scars and dark cloud that cancer tends to be. Optimism is a skill that takes practice. Cancer is a great trainer for honing such skills. I can now find a smile at the hardest of times, but I also learned to feel those feels. It’s a delicate balance. Me (still Katrina) in May 2016 with mount Fuji in the background I have also learned to carpe the crap out of the diem. Translation: I am seizing the day. I am more apt to say yes. After being cleared for takeoff I have gone to Puerto Rico, Nicaragua, Japan, and on dates. Dating being the scariest of the list. But the point is, I am living life because I have a second go at it. I had the fire lit under my bum and learned not to dillydally away my days, unless of course I want to dillydally. I celebrate my everyday life now. That doesn’t mean I pop open a bottle of champagne on a daily basis, but it means that I actively choose to enjoy every day. What I’m trying to say in this babbling post is that survivorship can be empowering. It is about loving yourself and owning your past which is a lesson that I can apply beyond my cancer years. Survivorship is taking your jaded self and turning it into a prism instead.

Post # 66: I am a SURVIVOR

After a long, internal debate I have decided to retire my blog.  What better time than when we are coming up to the one year anniversary of being cancer free?

The big C has won some battles, but I won the war.  Fly the metaphorical flag at half mast for the casualties (my right shoulder, tears, time, friends, blah blah blah) and celebrate the victories (25th birthday, lessons learned, blessings, etc).  I'm spending my 366-clean-days anniversary with Mr. and Mrs. Lord.  I want to celebrate the day with them, so I invited them up to Madison for the weekend.  (E, we will call you on a four-way phone call since you'll be working).

Truly, I will miss writing the blog.  I enjoyed it which was a pleasant surprise.  I'm thinking of starting up a new one soon, but it is time to move on from the chemo-driven topics.  I have more b!tch juice, struggles, triumphs and good GREAT days ahead of me, but they will not be documented here.

So, thank you readers for sticking around through this tumultuous ride through Katrina's World.  It has been a hard trip, but I think we are returning to the main road safely together.  The detour is coming to an end!

I will leave you with these two tokens:

One, here is a link to a blog that I find useful - the author Kris Carr's book was my Bible:  http://networkedblogs.com/s6POb

And two, here is my theme song lately -  it's called "Get Thru This" by Art of Dying http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMRjWGr9sH4&ob=av2n

All the best,
Katrina Jeannette

Baby It's a Wild World

Step by Step
My good friends put together Team Navigating the Roadblock last year and as I boasted before - they were the top fundraisers!  This year a few of the girls are on the board for the Leukemia Research Foundation.  Ironically, I have grown up with the foundation.  My mom has been a member for my entire life (if that length of time is wrong, then I'll state that it at least seemed like it).  I helped out at the annual fashion shows and attended the weekly meetings with her.  Truthfully, I wanted to grow up to be a member.

Here's a link to the Web site:
http://www.leukemia-research.org

Here I am, "grown up" and instead of a member I am receiving aid from them.  Cancer is an expensive hobby.  Beyond the assistance, LRF is an advocate in medical research.  Leukemia treatment has gone leaps and bounds in the progress in the past five years.  But let's be frank, it has leaps and bounds to go.  I always remind myself, all that I am going through is what little kids are going through too.  Scary.  It keeps my pity parties in check.  It also gives me all the more reason to hound people to support my cause...

So, in case I haven't bugged you in another form... here's the address for my fundraising page:
http://www.active.com/donate/lrf2012/KLord16

Drip by Drip
I am getting closer and closer to the end of chemo-fication.  June 24, 2013, June twenty-fourth two thousand thirteen, 06/24/2013, 24 June 2013... looks good from all angles.  I had another dosage today.  I am still not quite where Doc wants me to be in counts so that's always a bit of a worry, but she assures that it's more of a matter of mixing up the right dosages for my dailies.  I had another lumbar puncture which is a nice way of saying spinal tapping and it went smoothly.  Mom and Dad had presents for some of the team today.  Mom made an adorable blanket for Doctor's baby girl so moods were all happy and eyes a little teary. 

Inch by Inch
My 'do' is coming in nice and thick.  I get a lot compliments and in the most unexpected places.  The remarks make me feel a bit more comfortable in it, but I still haven't been able to truly tame it and rock it.  I have some crazy cow licks and curls going on.  But I am SO HAPPY to have it back that I just let it go crazy and call it a happy non-bald day.

Shot by Shot
Despite my wile counts, I am hopping a plane in a few weeks.  MARCH MADNESS BABY!  Dad and I are heading to the final four in New Orleans!!  I am pumped.  Marquette is also stoking the fire for my excitement since they are looking good (minus tonight).  They are just saving their wins for the tourney.

Line by Line
This post is getting wordy so I will sign off.  Till next time!

One year ago today...

was the diagnosis day.   I'm not sure how I am supposed to act today.  I feel as though I'm supposed to do something special, but I kind of feel numb.  Last year news came that threw my world into a whirlwind.  Thanks for a year of love, prayers and good thoughts.  I felt them all.

If you see me, just smile.  That's all I want.  


With love,
K

Among the Wildflowers

G'day

I report to you from the melting city of Madison.  The bit of snow is melting vigorously.  I am a big fan of this winter.  We had the best of both worlds - pretty snow and warm days.

I started physical therapy (PT) this morning.  I am very excited to continue the exercises and stretches that my physical therapist assigned to me.  I have a drive within to progress the mending quicker than expected.  My physical therapist was great and he has my optimism soaring.  I can't ask for anything more on those fronts.

I had another dose of the magic juice last Thursday.  I was very nervous for my spinal chemo since the last couple were a bit of a struggle due to scar tissue forming.  Too many pokes of the needle.  All the worry was a waste - things went smoothly.  All of the discussions with my Northwester posse were happy reports and so the smiling carries on.

Unless if you live under a rock, you know that yesterday was Valentine's day.  I have a beautiful bouquet of lilies as a souvenir.  Ross pulled out all of the tricks.  He cooked dinner with Michael Buble crooning in the background that was lit with candles.  What a guy.

Last year we skimmed over Valentine's day because I was with Erin rocking out to Ozzy and Slash.  Great times spent with my sister.  She'll be visiting Madison this spring :)

Things have perked up a lot since the beginning of the year.  I'm going to roll with it.  Smile!

Today's theme:  Tom Petty - Wildflowers - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G-42RYWRvE

A simple round of conversation

Yesterday marked a momentous occasion - my wig is officially retired.  I went into the office without my wig and received many compliments on my "hair cut."  I've told a few people this next bit already but it's worth a repeat.  With this hair do, I need to buy some owl stuff and a few over-sized flannels.  It is so hipster.   I will have to wear it with irony.

Random thought - do you think the first "r" in February feels under-utilized?  I imagine it's the skinny, kid saying "What about me?" in gym class.  Or am I the only one that completely skips over it when saying February? 

Another random thought - when I was researching how to raise Emma a lot of sites warned that puppies will sometimes have issues about separation anxiety.  They did not warn about MY separation anxiety.  Maybe she can hide under my desk when I come to the office.  She would totally fit under my desk.  I hope she misses me this much too... I hope she's blogging about my absence.

A final random thought - a compilation of songs serve as a guidebook to life.  I popped in some of my high school cd mixes and happily sang and drove from Milwaukee.  There are times when a certain song comes on and it seems like it was written for you.    Do you find that too?

la-la-la-love,
Katrina

Hullabaloo

It's me, your one and only emcee 


I have returned from my six day staycation as pale as when I left.  Mother dearest drove to Madison to accompany me to the bone specialist appointment.  Simply, I was scared to go alone.  Since she was driving back to Midlothian, Emma and I hopped a ride to the sandless, sunless, palm treeless land for a mini-vacay.  I needed a rejuvenation and Emma needed to meet Dad and the OFHS crew.  She was well behaved and made me proud.  


The week was a nice breath of fresh air.  I was also pumped up with new blood on Tuesday so that may be a factor in the pep in my step.  Vampires tend to perk up with new blood.  The weekend was full of laughs since that's always how it goes with my girls.  I also got to spend time with Mom and Dad, which after living home for so the stint, was very welcome.  


So the skinny on what's going on: to sum it up my right shoulder and left hip are not fairing well due to the treatments that have been beating me up.  I was doing well in the boxing ring but it seems that the chemo took round 3 with a K.O.   

I am going to give physical therapy a go and see how the joints feel.  The only option other than grinning through the pain is a replacement hip and/or shoulder.  I am not ready to be Bionic Katrina quite yet; I was thinking maybe 50 years down the road...  then I can make jokes about my artificial sweetener but not quite yet.    


One day this too will just be a faint memory that I can shake my head at with a smirk of mirth fueled by the triumph.  

babble, babble, babble

My Bane, Treatment

Last week, I made my monthly pilgrimage to Chicago.  It fell at a time when my usual buddies were busy so I went solo.  I was weary about going by myself, but it turned out to be a good experience.  One on one time with my doctor and nurses proved to be very informational.   A few tough items have come up, which I will divulge unto cyberspace at a later date.  I haven't dealt with them mentally/physically yet so they're not ready for the world to digest either.  The strength will come, just not yet.

On the happy side!  I have a new date that I will countdown to with joy... 

JUNE 24, 2013!!!

It's my end date.  

I am so pumped.  It's next year!!!!!!  

My Buddy, Emma

The little dear happily napped with me throughout this week.  I spent a majority of my week creating Zs since I caught a cold and my counts plummeted.   Her husky side is poofing through with the fall of snow.  She loves the stuff.  She comes inside looking like Chappelle with white powder all over her snout all jazzed up and rearing to go.   At times I want to squeeze her to pieces because she is so freaking adorable and at other times I want to shake her.  But that's puppies.

My Happenings...

They have been limited because I limp due to fractures in my hip (call me Edith, not kidding) and low energy.  However, I was able to make it to an annual get together in Milwaukee with my girlfriends.  MU pride!  I had fun, and I did my best to keep up with the celebration.  However, I know my medical entourage would want to shake me if they knew what I was up to.  But that's twenties.

Madison has begun to get mundane.  I haven't been able to start any of my plans - yoga, classes, etc. which I was really looking forward to.  I also had to skip out on plans due to the disappointing counts, which is nothing new but it still tough.  

Is it just me or are there violins wailing in the background? 

If life seems jolly rotten There's something you've forgotten

(Post namesake is from Spamalot - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWGjnIhUyew)


I have come to find that I am one fast one-handed typist.   I was in piano classes for a bit and I was told that I have great span.  I am very thankful for it because I can shift+any key on the board with one hand!  Go me!


Why is this pertinent?  Why because I fractured my elbow!  Let me just say that my mood was a sh!tstorm hurricane this week worthy of NOLA.  I gimp around and can't reach top shelves because I also bruised my shoulder and hip.  ::Sarcasm alert::  Awesome.  


How did this tragedy come about?  Well, I was trying to clean up some of Emma's backyard bombs.  Our yard resembled an ice rink at the time.  Emma was burning energy playing with her frisbee and doing laps... one of which was behind me.  Her tie-out caught my legs and I was sacked.  It was cartoon worthy.  I flew into the air!  With a thunk (and apparently a snap) I feel on the ice.  Emma licked my face as I tried to stand; I still love the little honey bun.


Where is my hopeful 2012?  The year is going to improve from here.  I keep finding myself saying that.  I am not a very religious person.  I am jealous of those who are.  But I found sayings along the following uplifting...  
  

I will pass His test... but geez Lois, this is worse than stats class.  So I have moaned enough, hopefully my next post will not be dripping with such misplaced anger. 

Little Victories

Good morning boys & girls,


I haven't posted thanks to my lessened amount of visits.  I have more small appointments for lab check ups and such but nothing compared to the clinic trips to NW.   I had a NW appointment this past Thursday for some b!tch juice.  It was not the smoothest of appointments in our history.  They all can't go as easily as I was lucky enough to have in the past, but oi vey this one was a doozy.  Let's just say lots of waiting and needle pokes.  But it's done and over with.  Next one will be smoother.  My dad brightened my mom and I's day with having dinner ready for us when we got home.  This is not a common Lord household (sorry Daddy-o for ratting you out).  


I've had a lot of great times since my last post.  I went to my first concert after diagnosis.  I had missed a few concerts that were planned and fell during this sh!tshow.  It was tough to miss and to not plan for new ones, but I couldn't skip Avenged Sevenfold!  It turns out that the band supports this Web site:  http://www.fuckcancerfoundation.org/  A bit more brash that my style, but you can't deny the message.  We learned this from another concert goer that was sporting one of the shirts.  The weekend as a whole was great.  That same weekend, Ross had a work party and it was a lot of fun.  Plus we went to our favorite diner - Denny's (not the chain but the place that defines the overblown style of the Dells).  


Another weekend was a wonderful girls weekend getaway with a group of my childhood friends.  We all had a great time.  It was five of us in Galena.  Lots and lots of laughs, chatting, relaxing and as one of us said "rekindling old friendship flames."  


Otherwise I've just been doing my part time work, my daily goals around the house and cuddling my pupper.  I like to not have anything to note on this blog ;0)


The below pictures are of me and Dana, my mom's hair stylist and mine too during high school.  The salon she works at had a Cut-a-thon for the American Cancer Society so I stopped in to say thank you.  She has done numerous (any is too many) buzz cuts for women with treatments that cause the hair to jump ship.  As you will see, she went the full nine yards and raised extra money by promising to buzz her hair if she reached a certain level of donations.  She kicked some @ss (a lot of swearing in this post, odd) and raised almost double her goal.  People are amazing.  

 I don't anticipate any posts prior to Christmas.   So...

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!