Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days Of Summer

vrrrrooom vrooooom
The Porsche day was a lot of fun.  Dad and I had a great time; each of us got to drive 9 different cars.  We test drove on the normal road, an orange cone course and a racetrack.  The highlight was the racetrack though, especially since it was still slick from the rain.  There was one tight corner that made the track even more exciting with a few fishtail moments and even another car ending up in the grass.  Dad and I were in the minority in that we were not Porsche owners; we even overheard one man say he owns three!

b!tch juice status
Today marks the completion of another series of treatment.  I have a two week break before the next session begins!  At this point I may be outside of the clinic until June 14 which make me giddy.  (I might have to go for transfusions but let's just overlook that fact.)  The flavor today is a chemo that I've had many times before and I know that the ramifications are nil so I should be bouncing around the next two weeks.

other happenings
Summer is here and I'm sure everyone is as excited as I am.  My parents have one excellent backyard.  We've already had a few bonfires and I anticipate many more.  I foresee many relaxing nights at the fireside.   Hopefully some of you out in the blogosphere can join us :)

As Time Goes By

Hello everyone,


All's well on the chemo front.  Another session done - check it off.  


I am pumped for Thursday.  Dad and I are going to a Joliet race track to zoom around in a Porsche.  Putting the pedal to the metal on an enclosed racetrack is going to be AWESOME.  Some of my favorite moments are driving around with the windows down and music blaring.  I may have to bring my Blondie, Madonna and Pat Benetar CD mix for the drive!


I had another great weekend.  My girlfriends hosted a pot luck dinner on Friday.  A night in with friends is the best medicine.  Angie and her wacky comments had me laughing so hard.  I sat back and soaked in the fact that I was just hanging out with good company.  The dishes were great, but I would have been happy eating burnt popcorn.  Saturday was perfection.  Becca and I had an unplanned date day.  It was a spontaneous day of brunch, shopping, strolling and manicures.  Michela joined us for the manis.  Along our stroll we stopped for cupcakes.  Never underestimate the power of Barbie-pink nails, new high heels and a cupcake.  Combined they make for one very happy girl.  


I complain that I'm not living a normal life.  It's time that I embrace the mini-vacation that I am given.  I am working on sitting back and learning how to relax.  I will soon be able to enjoy time the European way.  Instead of rushing and checklists,  I am able to enjoy ambling down the road and enjoying my sips of coffee.  Maybe we all should give it a try.


A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out.  
Grace Pulpit

Cats - not the musical - but just as mind boggling

I can't sleep, which is really uncommon for me.  So I thought I would share a humorous (or so I think) scenario.  (Cat people, please pardon my slander.  Go forward with your cat-loving ways; I do not mean to offend!)  


My parents are cat people.  If you have been to our house, you have met the two princes Marley and Rufus.  My dad is a bit more over the deep end in love with the cats than my mom.  He has gone as far as calling them my "brothers" and he has more than once put the phone up to Rufus so that he could say hello when I lived in Milwaukee.  


I moved back home complaining about the cats.  Sure I grew up with cats and loved my little Angel kitty to pieces.  But once you move away from litter boxes, it is tough to go back.  To put my opinion eloquently - stinky stinky gross!


Now I spend my days at home with only the cats.  I hate to admit it, but they are now my best listeners.  I truly do talk to these fur balls.  I mainly hang out with Rufus, our sumo-sized black cat.  Yes, I said "hang out with" a cat.  He follows me around the house and showers me with attention.  Who wouldn't love such attention?  When you spend this many hours alone with only two cats, you can judge.  Until then, I judge myself enough about my attachment to the flea bag (He doesn't have fleas.  That's just my passive aggressive love showing).  The cat is awesome and please come visit to see for yourself so that I can stop this spinster-like commentary about a cat.    


I told Ross that it is crucial I move back to Milwaukee and part ways from my feline friends before I turn to the dark side - a cat person.  He finds my actions both hilarious and alarming.  However, I know I am safe from becoming the ultimate cat lady.  I had the honor of witnessing the best car stickers of a "family."  Here's an example of a normal family sticker collage:

I once saw a sticker collection on the back of a green station wagon bearing only a woman and three cats.  At least I do not have that going against me.  However, I did just write a blog about my best friend, Rufus the cat.  dangit.

Venting

I was living the charmed life until that altering February day... I had my own place, a big kid job, I had a great daily grind going and weekends I was in Chicago or Madison going out with friends and my boyfriend.  Hollywood would have cast me as your average 23 year old. 


I still am the average 23 year old.  I think I am wiser than I am; my twenty-something world is small.  But it's my world and it has caused me to retreat to my old bed - crying.  I am crying because I am so overwhelmed by fears and angers that are HUGE and small.  For example, I can't cheers my friend for finally landing that job.  I want to go out to a bar, play darts and eat the popcorn.  Yet I have bigger things to worry about.  I am scared of what this disease may take away from me.  I won't open that door because it's too heavy, but it does make missing the beer seem obsolete.  However, I still feel hurt since I am out of the loop from my friends.  Melancholy was always the bonus word for teenage angst poems, but I now understand the word.  I am blocking myself off a bit.  I also catch myself acting like a crotchety old fart, complaining away in conversations.  I don't know what to talk about with people.  I was never a master at small talk, and I do not see that happening soon.  I want to hear about everyone's lives but at the same time, it hurts to know what I am missing.


It's time to quite typing.  I am sad, bald, red-eyed but my shoulders are a bit lighter.  Whew.  So now it's time to change my mood.  

I am suffering from a serious case of hair envy, so I am bringing you down with me.  Who would not want Kate Hudson's hair??  

plain and simple

Another week of chemo is done!  No other news, which in this situation, is good news.


It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
Henry David Thoreau 

Live from Prairie du Sac

Hello from Prairie du Sac, Wisconsin!  


I decided to take advantage of the time off of treatment and drive out to Ross's.  I needed the little getaway.  Ross is out conquering the waste disposal world.  I am happy here.  I really am.  This makes me even more excited to plan weekend trips for us.  We are thinking of Galena, Geneva, Door County... our criteria is relaxing and scenic.    


Since the "du Sac" is a small town, I was able to go to the grocery store yesterday.  (A trip to the store is not recommended in normal towns due to the volume of people.)  I made stuffed shells for dinner last night and then picked up ingredients for stuffed peppers on Saturday.  Just call me Mrs. Cleaver.

(Isn't this cool?  It's a vintage dress pattern.)

We hope to hike around Devil's Lake state park tomorrow.  Last time we rented a canoe and just lazed about the lake.  It was perfect.  


If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see? 
- Alice in Disney's Alice in Wonderland


Off I go to get lost in a daydream!  

Today Will Be A Good Day

Some days I wake up wondering why to even get out of bed.  I know that sounds depressing (and a bit emo) but I don't have work, school or anyone depending on me right now.  I hope to be in Milwaukee this fall so that I can return part time to the land of cubicles.


Each morning I tell myself it would be a good day.  Sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong.  I do wish the weather would improve (I know you agree!).  When the sun is hidden in the clouds, it's really easy to couch surf the day away.  I need someone to kick me off the couch - any walking buddies in the area?  


I didn't pass the lab test to continue chemo this week.  The protocol that I am on has a check halfway through the session.  I almost had the required levels to continue.  A pause in treatment was anticipated; a majority of the patients fail the levels as well.  So this week I have nothing.  Next Tuesday we will retry.  I hope I pass.  I want to keep trucking through this.  I have four more weeks of this session of chemo.  Then onto the next...


When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.  Walt Disney


I believe.